Talking with your children about your mental health or addiction issues can help them make sense of changes they see in the family and whānau.
Motu e va’a e taha. ‘Oku ongo katoa ia ki ke fu’u akau”
When one branch breaks the whole tree feels it.
- Tongan proverb
Reassuring Your Kids
Children often sense when something is different with their parents, so gently explain in a way they understand. Reassure them by saying, “Sometimes I feel a bit tired or sad, but I have support to help me.” Let them know they aren’t responsible for fixing how you feel and that you have caring people helping you.
Creating a Care Plan
Develop a plan with trusted whānau or professionals to ensure your kids feel safe and supported, even if you need extra help. Include essential contacts, familiar routines, and specific instructions for their comfort. Steps can include:
Identifying a primary caregiver or point of contact.
Outlining daily routines for familiarity.
Listing comforting activities or phrases that reassure them.
Use local resources and support groups for ongoing assistance. Many organisations offer tailored guidance for parents facing mental health challenges, ensuring you and your whānau feel supported.
As parents, you naturally want the best for your children. These guidelines support all mental health and addiction services—whether for adults, children, or families—in working alongside you to create a family-centred approach that prioritises your children’s wellbeing. By making children’s welfare a shared responsibility, we ensure that each service involved is here to support your family holistically, not just through services specifically for children and youth.
Children of Parents with a Mental Illness (COPMI) website
Resources for people working with whānau experiencing wellbeing concerns by Whāraurau
Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists (RANZCP) Position Statement 2016
Yellow Brick Road - support for families towards wellbeing
Supporting parents with mental illness and or addiction and their children – government guidelines, plans and resources for mental health and addiction services
If you are worried about the safety of a loved one, or someone else, you can call the Crisis Team on 0800 800 717 or dial 111 in an emergency.
Important numbers and resources to find advice and support at a time of crisis or distress:
Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
Lifeline 0800 543 354 or (09) 522 2999 | Free text 4357 (HELP)
Youthline 0800 376 633
Samaritans 0800 726 666
If you or someone you know is at risk of harm: dial 111 or visit your nearest hospital emergency department.
Call 0800 611 116 for your nearest DHB Mental Health Crisis Team (CATT Team).
Do you need support? Yellow Brick Road is a national organisation that provides support for whānau who have a loved one experiencing mental health challenges.
For more information about helping family / whānau visit mentalhealth.org.nz
Parent Help – 0800 568 856 for parents/whānau seeking support, advice and practical strategies on all parenting concerns. Anonymous, non-judgemental and confidential.
Family Services Helpline – 0800 211 211 for help finding (and direct transfer to) community-based health and social support services in your area.
Skylight – 0800 299 100 for support through trauma, loss and grief; 9am–5pm weekdays.
Yellow Brick Road – For families and whānau supporting a loved one who has a mental illness. Auckland 0800 732 825. Find other regions' contact details here.
Emerging Minds - More learning about mental health and wellbeing for families and individuals.
