When anxiety becomes excessive and persistent, interfering significantly with a child’s daily life and functioning, then we need to provide support.
Understanding the Physiology of Anxiety
It’s important to understand what your child is experiencing during moments of anxiety. Anxiety triggers the body's "fight, flight, or freeze" response, activating a rapid release of chemicals that lead to physical reactions. During this state, the logical part of the brain becomes less effective, while the emotional part takes over.
Reflect on a time when you felt extremely nervous or scared. What did you experience? Your heart may have raced, your breathing might have quickened, and your muscles could have tensed. These sensations are all part of anxiety's physical impact.
To effectively support your child, it's crucial to help them calm down physiologically. When they're in a heightened state, they may struggle to listen or respond. Identify techniques that help them relax in the moment.
Practicing Relaxation Techniques
There are many relaxation techniques that can help us to reduce the impact of anxiety. Some include:
Box breathing technique
Shhh breath
Mindfulness exercises
Guided visualisations
Find a technique that resonates with you and practice it regularly. It's easier to use it in a moment of anxiety if you've practiced it before.
Talking About Anxiety
Reassure your child that everyone experiences anxiety at some point in their lives. Take the time to explain what anxiety is.
The more we discuss anxiety and mental health, the more comfortable our children will feel asking questions.
After an episode of intense anxiety, once they have calmed down, set aside time to talk it through. Listen actively and empathize with your child. Ask them how it feels for them and give them the time and space to respond in their own way.
Give Your Child Strategies to Work Through Their Anxiety
Help your child develop logical solutions and thought challenges for managing their anxiety. When they identify something that makes them anxious, discuss potential solutions together.
By doing this, you model the idea that it's beneficial to challenge our thoughts and that anxiety can be managed effectively.
Seek Support
If you notice that your child's anxiety is becoming excessive or persistent, consider discussing your concerns with your doctor. Additionally, communicate with your child's school; collaborating with teachers and staff can help create a supportive environment that aids in managing their anxiety.
If you'd like to explore what therapy options Anxiety NZ offers for children and youth, see www.anxiety.org.nz/kids.
Look After Yourself
Don't forget to look after yourself too. It can be challenging to support others with their mental wellbeing. Practice the relaxation techniques and other self-care. Seek support for yourself if you need it.
Try this brief, guided visualisation
You can download the free "Child Anxiety" guide below. We also highly recommend checking out the course "Untangling Anxiety", presented by Parenting Place. It is an engaging, self-paced course with bite-sized modules designed for busy parents.
Parenting Place is New Zealand's family charity; creating and delivering resources for parents at every age and stage.
By using the link below and entering the discount code ANXIETY10 at checkout, you will get 10% off your enrolment. Anxiety NZ will also receive a small payment, every contribution enables us to keep sharing these resources and supporting children, caregivers and families.
Don't forget to put in the discount code ANXIETY10 at checkout.
Check out our mini-series with 6 tips to help support kids and young people living with anxiety.
)-medium.jpg)
If you are worried about the safety of a loved one, or someone else, you can call the Crisis Team on 0800 800 717 or dial 111 in an emergency.
Important numbers and resources to find advice and support at a time of crisis or distress:
Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
Lifeline 0800 543 354 or (09) 522 2999 | Free text 4357 (HELP)
Youthline 0800 376 633
Samaritans 0800 726 666
If you or someone you know is at risk of harm: dial 111 or visit your nearest hospital emergency department.
Call 0800 611 116 for your nearest DHB Mental Health Crisis Team (CATT Team).
Do you need support? Yellow Brick Road is a national organisation that provides support for whānau who have a loved one experiencing mental health challenges.
For more information about helping family / whānau visit mentalhealth.org.nz
Parent Help – 0800 568 856 for parents/whānau seeking support, advice and practical strategies on all parenting concerns. Anonymous, non-judgemental and confidential.
Family Services Helpline – 0800 211 211 for help finding (and direct transfer to) community-based health and social support services in your area.
Skylight – 0800 299 100 for support through trauma, loss and grief; 9am–5pm weekdays.
Yellow Brick Road – For families and whānau supporting a loved one who has a mental illness. Auckland 0800 732 825. Find other regions' contact details here.
Emerging Minds - More learning about mental health and wellbeing for families and individuals.
